I have to count to 10 and then look out of the window. I want to look as far as possible and try to imagine that part of the world that I still need to discover, that part of myself that I need to show to myself and to others. Everybody moves on and I have to also.
Alone, am I alone? A lot has happened in these last three weeks. Everyone has gone their own way. Stella has returned to Italy, Daphne is starting a new life with Marc and so I have decided to accept Padre Patrizio's offer to go with him to Cambodia. Padre Patrizio is from Saint Christopher's Church and organises volunteering work for a humanitarian hospital for Cambodian children.
Yes this is my mission...I am off to Cambodia....to live a new life helping others.
Will I be able to cope with such a demanding experience?
Tuesday 24 March 2009
Looking deep inside myself.........
Did I say I was a lucky woman....lessons, lessons...life is full of them.
I've lost the battle again and now is the time to change. Really, seriously but in a positive way. Words don't always make the same impact and then click you captivate the words, the situations, the experiences and they make you realise where you went wrong, in your behaviour, in your useless targets.
Everything has a meaning and if you take just a moment to accept and analyse what life is telling you, it makes you realise that you have to change. Your knowledge is there for others to learn from, your guidance is there to support others to make them feel they are not abandoned. Opening up to others, helps others see the light of truth.
I've lost the battle again and now is the time to change. Really, seriously but in a positive way. Words don't always make the same impact and then click you captivate the words, the situations, the experiences and they make you realise where you went wrong, in your behaviour, in your useless targets.
Everything has a meaning and if you take just a moment to accept and analyse what life is telling you, it makes you realise that you have to change. Your knowledge is there for others to learn from, your guidance is there to support others to make them feel they are not abandoned. Opening up to others, helps others see the light of truth.
Sunday 8 March 2009
On top of the moon
I feel like a 16 year old in love for the first time.....my life is about to change...gosh I am a lucky woman
Thursday 5 March 2009
Never, say never again...........
Just when you think you have total control of the life you have decided to live you get a punch in your stomach that leaves you without breath. Everything was going smoothly, no questions, no hassle, the perfect weekly programme repeating itself over and over again. Then an insignificant person appears in your life and you start day dreaming of the things you can do together, other than the twice a week visit. Like walking in the park, cooking together, laughing and enjoying just the pure essence of being together. Sex was perfect, there was no need to speak, better than the synchronisation of a Swiss watch.
Of course, I'm talking for myself, it was an illusion that my lover had the same idea. I was the one that had "again" put my trust in another human being. Yet coincidences are unexplainable and here I was having a massage by the wife of my lover. Obviously she hadn't the slightest idea of what was going on....poor soul.
Still, women have a strange way of ticking and I had a precise plot in mind that was intriguing.
Of course, I'm talking for myself, it was an illusion that my lover had the same idea. I was the one that had "again" put my trust in another human being. Yet coincidences are unexplainable and here I was having a massage by the wife of my lover. Obviously she hadn't the slightest idea of what was going on....poor soul.
Still, women have a strange way of ticking and I had a precise plot in mind that was intriguing.
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